


I wanted you to know

by jinsoulsmoon (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bang Chan Is In Love, Everything Hurts, F/M, Inspired by Music, Letters, Love, M/M, No Fluff, Sad, Suicide, Suicide Notes, but chan thinks so, drivers license by olivia rodrigo, felix didn't do anything wrong, no beta we die like chan in this story, no beta we die like men, too soon?, why isn't that a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28757385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jinsoulsmoon
Summary: I know we weren’t perfect but I’ve never felt this way for anyone. And I don’t think I want to again after how much it hurt.inspired by "Drivers License" by Olivia Rodrigo
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	I wanted you to know

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry :(
> 
> EDIT: orphaning this work bc of what happened w jisung, im no longer a stay and don't want to keep this on my account

Dear Felix,

I got my driver's license last week. Just thought that you should know. You always told me you couldn’t wait until I finally got it. You told me you couldn’t wait until I could drive you to a party after school. You told me that would be the first time we would be seen together. That it would be like a reward, to encourage me to take drivers ed. So now I finally have it, but why are you not here with me?

You’re probably with that one girl, because I’m not enough. I know we weren’t dating, so it wasn’t technically cheating, but it still broke my heart. You kissed her in front of me, flaunting that we couldn’t be together in public, but you could be with her. She could have everything that I want so easily, and you know that, but you still kissed her in front of me. I remember when you sang me a song that you wrote. Wanted to get my opinion on it, since I’m a music major. I asked you if it was about me. You said it was. I asked if you meant it. You said you did. You lied.

All my friends said you were no good, that I should’ve stayed away. But they’ll never know you the way that I do. Although maybe they where right. Because you did end up breaking my heart. You broke it worse than anyone had ever before. I still see your face everywhere I go. All the white cars that look like the one you drive. Everything reminds me of you. I can’t drive past the places we went together without thinking of you. I still hear your voice everywhere I go, the memories that where once bright and happy are now painfully haunting me everywhere.

I know we weren’t perfect but I’ve never felt this way for anyone. And I don’t think I want to again after how much it hurt. I feel so blue, knowing that we’re done for good, Because I still love you. And I do. I still fucking love you, and I think I always will. But you aren’t going to be bothered with me soon. You’ll never see me again, and I’ll never see you again. You were the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me. I know we weren’t perfect but I never felt this way for anyone, and I never will. Please don’t blame yourself for this. All I want is for you to be happy, because I love you.

Goodbye.

Chan.


End file.
